the new year yah-yah's

it's better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.

once again, we're back on this side of the sun. things are changing. i'm sure you notice my new blog look. kristen did that photo up for me, and it is pretty much the most awesome. it's a picture of the outside of The Second City. (btw, if anyone knows how to center that photo on the page, let me know.)

i am currently writing from the couch. yesterday morning, right before i left for work, i began vomiting my guts out. i ended up going to the doctor and getting some drugs and stuff, and i've been in bed ever since.

i don't feel very reflective anymore. perhaps that's why i haven't been posting as much. i don't feel hopeful about this year, probably because i can't move or breathe and i haven't gotten up in 20 hours. or maybe because this last year went so badly. i often worry about making the wrong choices. i'm worried that i should go to new york instead of chicago, or that i shouldn't go at all. or maybe that i should do theater instead of improv. i guess the fear of the unknown makes you question yourself. and your motives.

at best, this year will be the launching pad for me getting where i want to go. at worst, well, i'll be sitting right where i am, having never tried.


-------------------------------------------------
Losing the star without a sky
Losing the reasons why
You're losing the calling that you've been faking
And i'm not kidding

It's damned if you don't and it's damned if you do
Be true 'cause they'll lock you up in a sad sad zoo
Oh hidy hidy hidy what cha tryin to prove
By hidy hidy hiding you're not worth a thing

Sew your fortunes on a string
And hold them up to light
Blue smoke will take
A very violent flight
And you will be changed
And everything
And you will be in a very sad sad zoo.

I once was lost but now i'm found
Was blind but now I see you
How selfish of you to believe in the meaning of all the bad dreaming

Metal heart you're not hiding
Metal heart you're not worth a thing

-Cat Power

Nearing the end

the end of the year is almost here. i LITERALLY can't believe how fast this year has flown by. of course things haven't happened the way I thought they would, but does it really ever?

The play was awesome! I was in two shows for school kids on the 11th, and then we had public shows on friday, saturday, and sunday. my mom and brother came to the saturday night show. but first things first, friday night after the show, me and some cast memebers went to the pizza joint for a slice, and as i'm walking out to my car, a woman approaches and knocks on my window. IT'S KRISTEN!! she flew in to surprise me and see the show and hang out for the weekend. so she also came to the saturday night show, with mAndrew and elsie. and dave and virginia came to see the sunday show. i had a super-fantasic time doing the play. kristen and i kicked it all weekend, and we OF COURSE had a blast. (special thanks to dianna for tirelessly making me look like a pretty pretty girl all week)(the picture is me and amanda (the very talented girl who played the ghost of christmas future - and yes i DO look good in that picture)

four days after the show, i auditioned for another play, Into the Woods, and...sigh...i didn't get a part. for the first time in my entire life, i was turned down for a part. that was a hard pill to swallow. but thanks to dianna's gentle encouragement, i got through it.

so now i'm done with work for the year, and tonight i made my first attempt to buy a christmas present (yes, you read that correctly). at least i get seven whole days off for christmas this year! yay grownup!

Open to the public!

Tomorrow night, we open A Christmas Carol to the public. I performed in two shows this morning, all to elementary and middle school kids, and those went pretty well. I just got home from a five hour dress rehearsal, which went well. I think we are going to kill in the public shows.

So, the Imperial Theater is sleeping quietly. The ghost light is lit, and the rain is falling softly.

And tomorrow night? Magic.

know what I'm listening to right now?

(aside from the Les Mis soundtrack, of course)

this.

oh bliss.

who has time for anything?

not me, that's who.

i'm doing a play locally right now. about a month ago, dianna called me up and said they needed tenors for A Christmas Carol, and i said, "hey i'm a tenor!" a month later, i have traces of eyeliner on my eyes from tech rehearsal last night, and i'm getting less and less sleep. i play "banker" or "banker 1." i actually have a couple of lines and i wear a little mic that hangs over my ear. gather and sing of this glorious thing known as Christ-mas, to-gether!

in other news, yet another high school girl has caused damage to my car. this rhodes scholar cut me off and then slammed on brakes. have fun buying a new front end for my car.

i've been listening to a lot of good new music lately. i bought kanye's new album, 808's and heartbreak, and while it's not great, it is unique and i appreciate it. also, i've been listening to feist, the national, the killers, goldfrapp, ray lamontagne, snow patrol, colin meloy, and synthar, to name a few. seriously, stop what you are doing and download 'colin meloy sings live!' from iTunes right now. it will change your life. oh, i also just got about 30 miles davis and john coltrane cd's, which is amazing.

oh, and SPEAKING of music, a parcel arrived at my doorstep yesterday, the contents of which is a new live Dave Matthews album, from your friend and mine, bree. you're the best, blawyger.

well, that's it for now. more soon. including pictures of me in makeup.

this still makes me laugh...

45 minutes later.

Actual conversation that just happened:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kristen: Kobayashi Maru. i've seen this in like 11 different places in the past couple weeks. weird.

Patrick: Kyriad Mariah? :)

Kristen: haha!

Patrick: do you know what the kobayashi maru is?

Kristen: isn't it the unsolvable problem or something?

Patrick: yes, from star trek.

Kristen: right. i only know that from friends

Patrick: the reason you are seeing it everywhere is because that movie is coming out next summer.

Kristen: but i'm seeing it in non-star-trek-movie related locations

Patrick: doesn't matter. the movie is making people think about it again.

Patrick: the kobayashi maru was an unsolvable problem that they gave to all cadets in Starfleet Academy. Captain Kirk actually solved it, but he cheated.

Kristen: oh snap! how'd he cheat?

Kristen: and what was the problem?

Kristen: and what was the answer?

Patrick: i don't know! i'm not a Trekkie. find some huge nerd and ask HIM.

Kristen: i think you must be a little. how'd you know all that stuff?

Patrick: well first of all, i'm not DEAD from the neck up.

Patrick: i'm a geek of sorts. see, geeks know the basic tenets of the different kinds of nerdery, but we don't actually have the knowledge to convert.

she. was. RUN-NING!

HOLY CRAP! Kristen just finished a MARATHON!

Unbelievable.

Make sure you swing over to her blog and congratulate her (whenever she posts about it). Her sister Haley ran too, and I'd tell you to post on her blog, but she doesn't use it anymore. So maybe you can just throw her well-wishes up in the air or something.

okpeace.

one whole year?

yesterday was my one year anniversary at "Organization Automobile," the company I work at. I was a temp for two-and-a-half years before they hired me on, and now it's been a year and a day as a full-on employee.

i remembered today.

i am SOOOO ready to move to Chicago.

wow...

this morning i was driving to work in the Chili Pepper, and i was on washington road, and as i looked to my right, several things hit me at once. (no, a car was not one of them) there was a woman, fairly attractive, late 40's, in a red convertible BMW, tweezing her nose hairs.

let that sink in...

here's a lady, at least upper-middle class, if not completely upper, driving in a nice car, cleanly dressed, TWEEZING HER NOSE HAIRS. while doing about 45 down a very busy four-lane street at 7:45 in the morning.

as it turns out, she was actually using one of those eyelash clamps. i couldn't tell because it was on the other side of her nose, but still...

the cuteness

spider-man takes a break to talk to mary-jane.
starring my nephew mitchell.