alive and well
i love putting on an old album and realizing that a song you only marginally liked before is actually REALLY good. excellent harmonies, powerful melodic chorus. and especially when it's on a pretty good album that my other music snob friends would sneer at. AND and it's not even the best song on the album. sigh. i should have left college and been a musician.
normally i would play catch up on here, since i haven't blogged in a while, but i'm too tired and this is one of my favorite quotes: "let me 'xplain...no, es too much. lemme sum up."
i'm gonna sum up.
two fridays ago, my father underwent a 16-hour-surgery to have his tongue, larynx, and lymph nodes removed. the surgery was two weeks later than it was supposed to be, and in that two weeks, the tumor (in his mouth) swelled to the size of a softball. he looked like louis armstrong pushing out a solo on West End Blues. but, he made it through like a champ, and when i went BACK up there a week later (thanksgiving), we actually watched forrest gump on tv together. forrest gump is the only movie he and i ever saw in a movie theater together, though i doubt he remembers that.
other than that, i've been working hard, sleeping poorly, sitting around a lot by myself. you would think that, making a lot more money now, i would actually HAVE money, but no. i'm still brokeded. my friends are all over the country, and i'm here. i have friends here, but they are mostly off doing their married stuff.
i just...wish life had turned out more like i imagined 15 years ago. or even 10 or five years ago. i wasn't meant to be here. not like "augusta" here, but...here. here, life-wise. i'm more and more determined to leave and go follow my...dreams? but also the more time i have to think about it, the more i know it is a LONG shot. but that's not the point. i thought i would be happier at almost-30. more content. doing something that i loved or some crap.
ah well. life is not like sitcoms. there are not always friends that you ALWAYS hang out with doing awesome stuff all the time. they don't show the in-between parts, like when chandler is sitting around with nothing to do. or when marshall is at work for 15 hours and can't hang out with ted and lily. they only show the good parts. the interesting stuff.
i wish i could make a sitcom of my life and show the good parts of my life. then all the stuff like channel surfing and four nights in a row of dinner by myself wouldn't bother me so much.
i'm actually in a pretty good mood though. so, no worries. tomorrow i will talk about awesome tv and how much i hate those stupid studios for screwing over the writers.
it's good to be back.
Now playing: Jars Of Clay - Overjoyed