there's so much drama in the A-U-G

it's kinda hard bein' pat s-t-ee-d!

good lord am i hot and tired!...so, let's see. what's the best way to catch everybody up? hmm...

SATURDAY WORDS!!!!!!!!

of course, it's gonna be more like, saturday paragraphs, but you get the point. man, i haven't done this in a while. i'm kinda excited. ok, let's call it september words.

september words, v.1.0. go.

i. heat. (a) it's hot as a mother here in augusta. 24 days over 95 degrees. i'm not kidding. last year there were only ten days over 95 degrees between august and september. (b) heat is also a KILLER movie. made by michael mann, this movie is one of the few "10" movies from the last 16 years. if you haven't seen it, go forth and do. it's violent, and pacino and deniro give the performances of a lifetime. heat was the first time pacino and deniro were ever on screen together, and this movie holds two "bests." best shootout, and best onscreen conversation between two people. the end.

ii. dave matthews band. ok, it would take me an hour to describe how un-FREAKING-believable this concert was, so let me give bullet points.
a. we won our tickets from 99x, so free tickets, and free food to boot. yeah.
b. a $14 margarita called "the yard." could have been frozen, but whatever.
c. DMB WAS AWESOME!!! ok, last time i saw them, they played quite a bit of new stuff, which obviously isn't bad, but you know, you wanna hear the old favorites. well not this time buddy! they started off with pantala naga pampa leading in to rapunzel. if you don't know, this is the killer combo opening to "before these crowded streets." after that, crash into me, say goodbye, and satellite had the whole crowd going crazy. after some good recent stuff, they played (back to back) so much to say, too much, can't stop, warehouse, dream girl, #41, and ants marching. i seriously almost wet my pants. BUT THAT'S NOT THE BEST PART!!

they already had three guest musicians with them. butch taylor on piano (always awesome), rashawn ross on trumpet (6'3", 350lb black dude, awesome), and jeff coffin on saxophone (holy crap!). so, the show was already rockin! and then, after 'dream girl,' these other two dudes came out on the stage, and i realized that it was BELA FLECK AND FUTUREMAN!! (futureman is bela's drummer, victor wooten didn't show and i was sad). so i was like, "wow! they need to play #41" (my favorite ever, and one that bela has jammed on many times), and so they DID. for THIRTY. TWO. MINUTES. leroi soloed. rashawn soloed. coffin soloed for SIX minutes. then bela got started and that was just retarded. i mean, he's so good it's sick. and then coffin and bela start going back and forth with each other. and then boyd soloed. and then boyd and bela started going back and forth. and then butch soloed. and then...

you see, futureman was just sitting there on this box. he didn't have his normal drum machine shaped like a guitar. well, futureman starts playing on the side of this box, and they've got it miked (i then realize, being a percussionist myself, that this is a drum box). so futureman soloed. and then futureman and carter start going back and forth. by this time, i have soiled myself several times. and dave is just up there shaking his head. and now it's 20 til 11 and i think they are done, and they play the last note and carter starts on ants marching. they played those two songs for 48 mintues. TWO. SONGS. so then they leave the stage, and 15 minutes later, dave comes out alone and plays this BEAUTIFUL song about his sister, and then they played ANOTHER two songs (JTR and tripping billies) for about 25 minutes.

all-in-all, 3 and a half hours of the best concert i've ever seen, and i didn't even pay for it. kamma, you are the best ever. thanks.

iii. life. one of the funniest movies i have ever EVER seen. eddie murphy is comedic genius. i wish i had it here right now, i'd watch it.

iv. bank. dear bank, i hate you. love, patrick. ps. you suck.

v. wedding singer. not the movie. me. i sing in weddings. every friend i've ever had get married, except 3, have asked me to sing in their wedding. i think i've sung in about 35. last weekend, my friend kevin got married. he and i went to college together, and he's the guy i always knew i would beat to the altar. NEAT. I'M GONNA DIE ALONE. nah, seriously, his wedding was awesome, and i got to see a few people that i hadn't seen in a long time, and then that night i went clubbing in buckhead.

vi. clubbing. after the wedding, i met up with some friends for dinner and clubbing. i haven't really been dancing in a long time, but it was the bomb. for a while. i DID shake my moneymaker. i raised the roof. i found him in the club. i let my shoulder lean. i said YEEEAHHahhHHH!! a lot. i sweated. i got home and went to sleep at 4:30. and then i woke up at six. yes. one and a half hours. of sleep. and then i drove to augusta.

vii. nap. that sunday, i took a SIX. HOUR. NAP. i know.

viii. rap music. i still am not that impressed with today's rap music, but two songs have been stuck in my head all week: headsprung by ll cool j (who i can't stand) and promiscuous by nelly furtado (who is neither here nor there). the reason that they are both so good, is that timbaland made these songs, and he is awesome. you can hear promiscuous on my myspace page for the next couple of days, and you will have to go to launch to hear the llcoolsuck song (for that last link to work, i think you will have to log in to yahoo).

ix. corn dogs. i have eaten a lot of them this week. thanks kyeathey.

x. this.
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i hope you guys enjoyed that as much as i did. it took me two days, so make lots of comments.

Attention:

if you are my "friend," but you are embarassed by me or think i should grow up and like to treat me like a fifth grader, kiss my ass.

that is all.

i KNOW

i'm lazy and slack

i swear, i will soon tell you about the best concert i've ever seen in my life.

and about the wedding i sang in this weekend.

and the bar hopping i did.

and the five-and-a-half hour nap i took today.

peace out.

Concert recount

sadly my first concert was Carman. i was about 8. but i have fully redeemed myself in the last 8 years.

as of next tuesday:
DMB - 3
Switchfoot - 4
Pedro the Lion - 2
Nickel Creek - SIX
FIF - 2
Pigeon John - 3
P.O.D. - 6
Blindside - 5
John Mayer - 1
India Arie - 1
Ozomatli - 1
Eisley - 1

plus one attending of Cornerstone music festival in Bushnell, IL, where i saw lotsa wicked awesome bands, including Dashboard Confessional.

you can subtract 1 point for the fact that i saw macy gray. i couldn't help it. she opened up for dave in atlanta in '01.

me out.

ps - chuck norris knows the last number of pi.

next wednesday i will be frowning

UNTIL THEN I'M GRINNING EAR TO EAR!!!

so i've been trying to win tickets off of 99x in atlanta to the SOLD OUT dave matthews concert next tuesday. well today my friend kamma called and SHE WON!!!!!! WOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

back to the place where i first saw them! lakewood amphitheater. well, now it's called hifibuys amphitheater, but that's stupid and i hate commercialism, so lakewood it is. 1999, i was on the tenth (10th) row, and ozomatli opened for them, which rules.

i'm gonna talk more about this in the days to come, so sleep well, and dream of large women.

can't....move...

heat...too......unbearable....

must...water...

uhgdbdrgn.....