Borders: The Chapel Hill Chronicles

Episode 14: In which Pat learns about The Sins of the Father

I know that not everybody is a fan of American Chopper, but if you get a chance to watch it, you will experience one of the funniest people I've ever seen on television: Mikey. The funniest part is, it's totally real. I have seen American Chopper before, but it was only Paul Sr. and Paul Jr., and Mikey wasn't on the show. But since I've just been sitting around here in Chapel Hill, and TLC was running an American Chopper marathon (and I had already watched A Christmas Story twice), I started watching. Mikey is SO awesome, I may buy some seasons of American Chopper just to catch more of him.

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Joey, Rachel, and Ross: YAYYY!!!
Chandler: What happened?! What happened?!
Joey: YOU KISSED MY GIRLFRIEND!
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Ah, The One With Chandler In A Box.

Today, I have become a firm believer in the whole "Sins of the Father" thing. Up until now, I basically didn't really believe that whole thing. The way I figured, the only reason your father (or mother) really passed them down was because you, as a kid being raised by them, were around them and were able to pick up their traits. Your mom paranoid? Welcome to paranoia. Your dad a heavy drinker? Go easy on the Stoli martinis.

But maybe not so much anymore. Spending a lot of time with my dad is not something I'm used to. And it's not really like we are doing a lot of conversing or doing awesome things. We mostly watch tv and sleep, broken up with me leaving to find food. But I have learned some things about him, and one of those is IMPATIENCE. His fuse is about the length of a grain of sand. And it's not like a good mood/bad mood thing. He is just totally impatient. It is his world and we are all in the way. And I struggle with being impatient. It makes me grumpy and angry and I hate it. BUT...I didn't spend my life hanging out with him. We weren't together all the time so that I could pick up those traits from him. So, how did I get them? I know it could be that I just became impatient and angry on my own, but it's hard not to watch those things in him and then blame him for them happening to me. Thanks a lot, pop. (I don't really blame my dad. I mean, who can blame him for being out-of-sorts right now, you know?)

So, Top 5 Things I Got From My Father
1. Impatience
2. Big Ears
3. Straight Legs (which my mom says are sexy. bleeghh!)
4. Bushy, "Hey You Should Let Me Pluck Those" Eyebrows
5. Funky Toes

Top 2 Things I Didn't Get From My Dad
1. Deep, "Hey You Sound Like An Actual Man" Voice
2. Cankles

mur' chimuh, urr boddy!

A couple of Top 5 questions

top 5 ensemble casts in a movie:
1. Tombstone - Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Michael Biehn, Powers Boothe, Dana Delany, Thomas Haden Church, Jason Priestly, Billy Zane, Bill Paxton, Sam Elliot, Charlton Heston, and even Robert Mitchum narrating, Billy Bob Thornton and Frank Stallone.
2. Apocalypse Now - Marlon Brando, Martin Sheen, Robert Duvall, Harrison Ford, Dennis Hopper, Scott Glenn, Laurence Fishburn, and R. Lee Ermey.
3. Mars Attacks - Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Martin Short, Michael J. Fox, Jim Brown, Sarah Jessica Parker, Natalie Portman, Pam Grier, Lukas Haas, Rod Steiger, Tom Jones, Jack Black (remember that?), Christina Applegate, and Joe Don Baker.
4. Crash - Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Brendan Fraser, Thandie Newton, Terrence Howard, Ryan Phillipe, Larenz Tate, Tony Danza, Ludacris, William Fichtner (one of my favorites), and Nona Gaye (I only put her because of Marvin).
5. Pulp Fiction - John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, Ving Rhames, Uma Thurman, Tim Roth, Amanda Plummer, Eric Stoltz, Phil LaMarr, Rosanna Arquette, Steve Buscemi, Christopher Walken, Julia Sweeney (It's Pat), Harvey Keitel, and of course, Quentin Tarantino.

I know there were others I could put, but these are my favorites.

Bonus Question:
Top 5 Christmas carols
1. O Holy Night
2. O Come O Come Emmanuel
3. Carol of the Bells
4. Little Drummer Boy
5. Grandma Got Runned Over By a Reindeer

Merry Christmas everybody!

screw you, Seattle's Best!!!!

borders spent two months with a closed down cafe so that they could put in this new Seattle's Best Coffee shop, and it's expensive and it's not even really that much better, and they filled up my drink too much and it spilled all over my hand - REPEATEDLY - for five minutes. jerks.

and to top it all off, no pun intended, they have NOT joined the 22nd century yet. "SHUT! just shut up. i know, it's not the 22nd century, dwight. ok? i made that up." that would make a good scene for 'the office.' they (borders) are still charging - CHARGING - for wifi. I FREAKING KNOW!!!! but i've beat the system. i sit next to the window and pirate the signal from atlanta bread company. i am awesome.

i feel like i've said that before. the wireless thing, not the awesome thing.

there are some people at work, and seriously, i want to punch them THROUGH the esophagus. or, maybe some three stooges-type stuff. BONK. SLAP. WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP. and then STAB! in the leg or hand. or eeeeesophagus.

so anyways, i'm hoping everyone is doing well. i was supposed to go to my dad's this weekend, but i didn't. i went to my mom's last weekend, and it turns out that she had bronchitis, so i decided not to chance taking that to my dad. but, i did already have friday off. so i stayed off. i slept until ELEVENTY-TEN on friday morning. and i did precisely JACK on friday. today i cleaned my much dirty apartment. and that's about it.

coming up tomorrow: TOP 5 time!!!

Upcoming blog

"coming up on the wardrobe door, a list of whoM i want to kill and how i will do it. PLUS, am i dying? and in a special report, i am about to get off my increasingly large ass and make it smaller. stories, jokes and more on the next "The Wardrobe Door." baaahh dat dat dahh daaahh, baddadda dat dadaaaa!

monday monday

oh hell.

the bad thing about blogging is that, CONSTANTLY, you are thinking of things that you could write. "oh snap! that would be awesome to write about on my blog!" unfortunately, you are on an interstate in the middle of nowhere, with no computer within 200 miles to typity-type on. so, hooray for me, i'm gonna get a laptop! now, i can blog whilST riding down the road. or, you know, at the rest station.

i didn't go to my dad's this past weekend. i went for three weeks in a row, so my aunt went up this weekend, and i stayed here to work and catch up my bank account. but instead i went to hang out with my mom. and what did i do at my mom's you ask? the answer, ironically, is...i..ronical. i sat there all of saturday and watched tv while my mom was sick asleep on the couch. in other words, the same thing i've been doing at dad's. awesome.

SUpER awesome

i'm ready to be blogging about funny day-to-day stuff, instead of catching everyone up on what's been going on recently. a couple of days ago, i went back and read all of my blogs from 2005. man, i was a funny bastard back then. oh, and i saw when all of you guys started reading my blog. we used to converse a lot more. i'm ready to get back to that. you ready?

SUPER BLOGGING POWERS, ACTIVATE!

TYRANNOSAURUS!!!

(somebody yell "stegosaurus!" so i won't feel like an idiot)

Do you play guitar?

No, but I play banjo.

Perfect!

let me tell you, i've put about 2500 miles on my car in the last 3 weeks. it's rough. i mean, the drive is not that bad, but then i spend the weekend laying in the hotel watching movies. now, i LOVEs me some movies, but doing nothing else for two-and-a-half days makes you feel like your muscles are atr...atrof....atroph...not working.

the worst thing is the money. missing a day of work each week, combined with buying practically three gallons of gas each week, makes for an achey wallet. i'm straining to stay on my budget, but that's taking a toll as well.

but the good news is that my dad is glad that i'm there. he is sincerely disappointed when i leave, which i'm not used to. i'm actually not going this weekend, and he's disappointed about that, too. but my aunt is going there, so i took the week off to work some extra hours and help out my bank account (seeing as how next week i have to pay the 50 dollars it cost to replace my dumbass razr phone).

also good news: dad is finally feeling better. just as i was leaving this past weekend, he said that he felt as good as he had since he started the chemo. the medication was finally doing what it was supposed to do. so that's good. and the chemo and radiation are doing what they are supposed to do, also. the lump in his neck as apparently gone down considerably.

next post, i will talk to you about redneck bidets and writing on bathroom walls.

ps - flixster is awesome!!! and i'm on facebook now too.

It's coming!

Be on the lookout people!