here it comes to wreck the day...

here it comes to wreck the day
the time and love i burned to have it end this way
is the only thing that makes me stay
close to the fire

the coming rain smells of new
promises i'll make to you
the way i break them will be clean
where is the fire?

burn burn the day away
come and rain on me
**************************************

so, even though i ate dinner two and a half hours ago, i almost just dove through the tv screen to get at the wendy's burger they just showed. YUMs.


so, yeah, the title. it never fails. i get to a point in life where i'm starting to feel accomplished and making headway and stuff, and here comes the desire for something else. many times, in the last couple of years, i've gotten to comfortable places, and then stuff comes up. like, moving to atlanta to get into sports broadcasting again. well, it's come around again. i'm in a pretty ok place. financially, spiritually, physically (i'm getting there). and THERE it is. i am now dying to move to LA and start acting. now, you may think i'm joking, and i can't stress how much i'm NOT.

not many people know about it, but i've always wanted to do it. when i graduated, i made a deal with myself that i wouldn't try until i paid off my school loans. i will probably never pay off my school loans, so why not just go ahead and try it?

it's always in my head. always. (look out, here comes molten-hot crazy). i think about it a lot when i'm driving, for some crazy reason. and i MAY or may not do interviews with conan o'brien (just kidding. maybe.) i've acted before. quite a bit, actually. now, i'm not one to toot my own horn so...i just won't say anything. haha. it took me eight minutes to think of that.

i had been thinking about it for awhile, and then the other night i watched the 2-hour true hollywood story of Friends, and all-of-the-sudden i was absolutely enthralled with the idea again. i don't even really care if i become super famous. seriously. i just want to be respected as a good actor. and maybe write some.

so, why does this pop up when i'm finally getting comfortable? because i'm finally getting comfortable. and i always want something more. i can't become content for some reason. cuckoo! (this is the "crazy" cuckoo, not the Gob dance from Arrested Development. and no, i did not edit this post in any way.)

that thing at the beginning of the post? i wrote that.

Fear and Tremble Before!....

THE AWESOME!

*shudder*

I now speak to you from The Awesome, an eight-pound beast of fury! A machine of monstrous proportions! Able to exhume thousands of mp3's without batting a byte! More powerful than my last three machines put together! The Awesome lays waste to all it sees before it, and women and children and internet sites tremble at the mere whisper of his name. Can you hear it?

The AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Behold! One hundred and SIX gigs of harddrive. OnePOINTtwo gigs of RAM. At present, The Awesome holds 179 hours, 46 minutes, and 48 seconds of music. The Awesome could entertain me musically for over seven DAYS, and ne'er play the same track twice! And LO, The Awesome doth possess FINGERPRINT SCANNING, for security measures to protect his humble owner. For The Awesome does love me. And I love The Awesome.

Hmm. Maybe I should have just said, "Hey guys I got a new laptop. Oh and bytheway The Awesome is a lush."

Cheers.

PS - The Awesome would like for me to make it known that he does not produce pictures of butterflies. Or kittens. Or, um...flowers and stuff. He does BOMBS! SWORDS! MUSCLES! HOT I-PODS! (that's for him) HE'S A MAN, MAN!

The Bunk Bed Diaries

Letters from the Bottom Bunk

that's right. i put it on the internet. i sleep on a bunk bed. up yours.

mike janik is my buddy. he lived here in augusta, and then last year he took his wife and moved to houston, that asshat of a city that i hate. well, he's here at my house, because his wife is my roommate's sister, and they have been visiting for a couple of weeks (the parents live next door).

early ps - i've gotten a lot of notes and comments here and on myspace recently and i haven't responded yet. i love you all and i will be writing back to you soon. i've got to get some things straight first.

well, it's shaping up to be a banner year. i am going through one of those caterpillar-in-a-cocoon type of changes. financial, physical, spiritual...my plate is filling up fast and just thinking about it tonight has overwhelmed me. i've already started my budget, but i have to get better. i'm starting to dig, really dig, into the bible, and into actually pursuing God and not just kinda giving lip service. plus, pretty soon, i'm going to be leading worship on sunday mornings, and that scares the piss out of me. that is, if i don't move to chapel hill. and on top of all that, i'm about to lose 100 pounds. 105, to be exact. i know, i know. most people say they are going to lose weight at the beginning of the year. well, mine just happened to fall now. my gym membership starts next week, and my OT friend is making me up a super-strict diet.

my life, as i know it, will never be the same. scary. honestly i hope to look back years from now and say, "man, 2007 was the year my life changed." you know how i know it's going to happen? because i'm not hoping it's going to happen. i'm actively pursuing the things that will make it happen. i'm surrounding myself with the people who will help me change. i'm changing the way i see myself, and the way other people will soon see me. secretly though, i want to be happy again. i haven't really been happy for a long time, and it shows in all aspects of my life. it's time to let past hurts go. it's time to give up old habits. it's time to work on me for a bit.

what time is it on your end?

---------------------------
top 5 things i want to see changes in by june
1. my pants size
2. my songwriting skills
3. my checkbook balance
4. the spine on my new bible
5. the look on my face