Monday, January 22, 2007

here it comes to wreck the day...

here it comes to wreck the day
the time and love i burned to have it end this way
is the only thing that makes me stay
close to the fire

the coming rain smells of new
promises i'll make to you
the way i break them will be clean
where is the fire?

burn burn the day away
come and rain on me

so, even though i ate dinner two and a half hours ago, i almost just dove through the tv screen to get at the wendy's burger they just showed. YUMs.

so, yeah, the title. it never fails. i get to a point in life where i'm starting to feel accomplished and making headway and stuff, and here comes the desire for something else. many times, in the last couple of years, i've gotten to comfortable places, and then stuff comes up. like, moving to atlanta to get into sports broadcasting again. well, it's come around again. i'm in a pretty ok place. financially, spiritually, physically (i'm getting there). and THERE it is. i am now dying to move to LA and start acting. now, you may think i'm joking, and i can't stress how much i'm NOT.

not many people know about it, but i've always wanted to do it. when i graduated, i made a deal with myself that i wouldn't try until i paid off my school loans. i will probably never pay off my school loans, so why not just go ahead and try it?

it's always in my head. always. (look out, here comes molten-hot crazy). i think about it a lot when i'm driving, for some crazy reason. and i MAY or may not do interviews with conan o'brien (just kidding. maybe.) i've acted before. quite a bit, actually. now, i'm not one to toot my own horn so...i just won't say anything. haha. it took me eight minutes to think of that.

i had been thinking about it for awhile, and then the other night i watched the 2-hour true hollywood story of Friends, and all-of-the-sudden i was absolutely enthralled with the idea again. i don't even really care if i become super famous. seriously. i just want to be respected as a good actor. and maybe write some.

so, why does this pop up when i'm finally getting comfortable? because i'm finally getting comfortable. and i always want something more. i can't become content for some reason. cuckoo! (this is the "crazy" cuckoo, not the Gob dance from Arrested Development. and no, i did not edit this post in any way.)

that thing at the beginning of the post? i wrote that.


Kristen said...

Do. It.

Seriously. There's never a "good" time to do the big things in life. Something is always going to come up that makes it seem like not such a good idea at the time, but if you never just bite the bullet and take the chance you'll never know.

And Bea, did you ever think that maybe the reason you can't become content isN'T because you are a big mountain of cuckoo about to erupt and spew molten crazy all over everybody (good usage, by the way - cracked me right up)...maybe it's because God has more for you...and you just have to go after it.

[steps carefully down and stores soapbox in cupboard for future orations]

And "that thing at the beginning of the post?" Right on.

Dottie said...

When I read the first part of your blog I thought two things. . .
1. Pat wrote that.
2. I like it.

Kristen's right about there never being a "right time" for us to take that plunge into whatever it is that we are dying to do. There will always be your practical side saying that there are more practical things to be done. But we only have one life. And most of us only have a few years of that one life that aren't completely tied down with responsibilities (kids, spouse, major debt, etc.) Make the most of this time, that is my motto.

Jo said...

Forget La La Land and be a writer! What you write is awesome, Pat. I think that should be a song. In fact, I'm getting out my little magic wand right now and *poof* you will make it so and send me a copy. Love you, Pit Pat. We support whatever you choose. Should your choice be LA, I have friends there (including the very hot bridesmaid, Cindy, from my wedding). ;)

Hae said...

I agree with everyone. Do it. You only live once. It's your life - and only you have the ability to make it what you want. Why not try?

*returns borrowed soapbox from Kristen*

oh and could you put in a good word for me out there? ;)

Sara said...

Friend, check out NBC for the free episodes of Sunset Strip.