Friday, March 4, 2005

well, day 1 sucked...

On to day two. I'm sure I'll get the hang of this.

So, today is my roommate's birthday. Tonight we are taking him to Atlanta to Pappasito's, which is much cool, but I don't have a job right now (see yesterday's blog debacle) and so this seems asinine. But he's my friend and there's eight of us going, so, who am I to be "that guy?" Besides, Pappasito's has the best fajitas on the planet. Hope to see you there.

Speaking of birthdays, tomorrow, my best friend from high school is turning 27. He just got married two or three weeks ago. He is much cooler than I am, just as he was in high school. I would never tell him this, but he ended up being the kind of guy I wanted to be. LOTS of friends, successful, but not rich. Just, enough that he doesn't struggle. It's not that I'm jealous of him by any means. You just spend your days thinking, if I had made just a few different choices, I could probably find what he has. I'm proud of him though. I always knew he'd make it.

I think I matured too late. Everyone else was figuring themselves out around the 2nd or 3rd year of college, and I may not have gotten there until after my sixth year (yes, six...i've got $23,000 worth of loans to prove it). I was talking with Jeff the other night (he's my pastor and one of my closest friends), pouring out about how I felt like a failure because I'm a 26-year-old college graduate with no job after just finishing a year working in a paint store. "Pat, there are college graduates who are homeless, and some that have much worse things going on." Leave it to a pastor to rain on my pity party.

I'm just tired of feeling unsuccessful.

When I sat down on the bed next to you
You started to cry
I said, maybe if I leave, you'll want me
To come back home
Or maybe all you mean, is leave me alone
At least that's what you said

You're irresistible when you get mad
Isn't it sad, I'm immune
I thought it was cute
For you to kiss
My purple black eye
Even though I caught it from you
I still think we're serious
At least that's what you said

-"at least that's what you said" by Wilco

No comments: