Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I'm not dead

I've been really tired and busy lately, and on the move a lot, but soon (maybe as early as tomorrow evening), I will be back for updates. Plus I have a lot of stuff to talk about. So, you know.

Sara, I am determined to play literati. I won't take no for an answer. :)

Stay hydrated people. It was 115 degrees today with the heat index.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

OH the humanity...

Topic #1~I discovered tonight where I don't want to end up in life. Some friends from mine from church, a married couple, invited me to dinner. A year ago, I spent an entire day in a one-and-a-half foot crawl space under their new home. Fast forward to tonight. Dinner. Husband, wife, THREE daughters, ages 4, 3, and 2. Basically, a big henhouse, with one rooster. A banny rooster. I laughed and laughed and laughed. It was really awesome, and I had a great time, but...

I'm just not sure about this kid thing. I can only take children in small doses. Even the children that I love go away after a couple of hours. I'm sure I will want kids one day, but until then, HALLELUJAH SINGLEHOOD! But really, I had an awesome time, and Mike and Diana are amazing people and amazing parents.

Topic #2~I live in Augusta, GA. Home of the Masters. Home of Fort Gordon. And, home of the Medical College of Georgia. Now, I am good friends with quite a few of these FREAKS (my roommate is a nurse. Guy. Nurse Man. Murse. HAHA.). You should see them study. They do it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I don't get it. They just read and read and read. And learn. I didn't learn anything by reading. I can not tell you one single thing that I learned from reading. OK now obviously, I learned something from reading. But in relation to what I learned from life and from hands-on experience, there is no comparison. Like, I can't read instructional books, like Purpose-Driven Life, or some self-help book. Because it's not interesting. I hate text books. On the other hand, I just read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in 4 days. I read 450 pages on Sunday afternoon. I love novels. I love stories. I like to be moved when I read. I don't like to think. That's why I like movies so much. I know this makes me seem shallow, but whatever. I'm smarter than you. Just kidding.

I was really smart in kindergarden. Kindergarten? Whatever, anyway, I was REALLY smart. I was so smart, second week of school, Ms. Jeffers calls my mom for a parent teacher conference, and tells her that I could be moved up to first grade and be caught up by Christmas, but I was a trouble-maker. And I was. I was Hell dressed up in Jams and Keds. I set the Danielsville Kindergarden record for most paddlings in a year (averaged one every other day, seriously). I don't know how I made it to be such a well-mannered, well-bred, well-educated adult man. I was SMART. I was so smart, my teacher had a drawer in her filing cabinet filled with stuff for me to do, because I would finish in five minutes and get in trouble. I was so much trouble, one day I accidentally spilled a tiny bottle of blue paint at 8:05 in the morning. My teacher made me lay on my "nap towel" for the REST of the DAY. Bathroom and lunch was the only thing I was allowed to get up for. True story.

Topic #3~Don't make friends with dentists. You would think this is a good thing, because hey, free dentist. But no. They actually want to LOOK at your teeth. Now you're thinking, hey that's ok I have pretty good teeth. Have you ever seen dental students? Or dentists? I think the first pre-requisite to dental school is that you have perfect teeth. And so, 'good teeth' are not as good as you think they are. And they want to use you as a 'dental guinea pig.' Hey Pat, let me poke around in your mouth all weekend. And, ohbytheway, I'm going to know all your horrible dental secrets when I'm done. BWAAHAHAAHA!!!!!!


I haven't seen Fantastic Four yet, so don't tell me what happens. And I'm very angry because I think I just accidentally read a spoiler about the new Harry Potter book, and if what I read happens, JK Rowling is finished.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Some days...

there just isn't enough alcohol.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Apparently I'm a strong swimmer

I was listening to this cd the other day (the cd "Be" by Common), and on the last song the guy that was narrating was saying things like, "Be Content," and "Be Prosperous," and stuff, and all-of-the-sudden he says, "Be Proud, that you were the strongest swimmer out of 500,000." Now, THAT is funny.

It got me and Rodger and Angela talking, and Ang asked a very, VERY good question. If you were conceived at any other time, ten minutes earlier or later, or the next day, or with mexican food on the stomach instead of chinese, or if someone was drinking, or even if a different swimmer had reached the egg before you, would you be a different person? Would you look different? Act different? Be different? Rodger said yes, you would be totally different. But I say no. God took all that time putting us together and crafting us. We may look different, but our basics would be the same, i think. Personality, moods, etc. Basically our souls would be the same, just a different shell. Maybe. Because all of those things are defined by our circumstances anyway. Upbringing, home life, friends, schools, yadda yadda yadda.

It was interesting to say the least.

Oh, and congratulations to Rodg for finishing VLI. It was very tough and I'm proud of him.

Friday, July 8, 2005


there was supposed to be an ending to yesterday's post. sorry. that sounded kinda dark and sad. it was SUPPOSED to say that i have been spending an ample amount of time by myself recently, both for good reasons and bad reasons. but that it was ok, because alone is not necessarily bad. and i've needed to get things done. it's just that sometimes the result of being alone is that you feel alone. and on those days, it sucks.

on another note...i feel verrrry popular because SIX people commented on my post from yesterday (well, five...thanks sara). and i don't know two of the others, but i'm excited anyway. i'm getting world-famous.

call your mothers and tell them you love them, people. now, back to work!

Thursday, July 7, 2005

Thursday words

There are words that sum up the past couple of days. Here they are.

1. Beck: This wierdo has a new album out called "Guero." This album is UN-believable! If you like good music, then you already like this album.

2. Weather Man: How do these morons get this title? For the last two weeks, every single day they've said it's going to rain before noon. But has it? No. Not a drop. Thanks a lot, Bob Smith.

3. Harry Potter: I've been reading all the books again to get ready for the new one to come out. That's right, I like Harry Potter.

4. Resume: I just redid my resume (thanks for your incredible help, Will!) because I just applied for a new job at Augusta State as an academic advisor.

5. Weed Eater: I got my weed eater from my mom's house and brought it down to Augusta. I spent two hours in the heat yesterday weed eating in my flip flops. It was awesome!!

6. Library: I've been checking out movies and books on tape from the library. All free. And I'm cancelling my Blockbuster Online membership. It was fun, but I don't make that much money and it's costing me a fortune. Well, not a fortune, but it always comes at a bad time.

7. Fear: I realized not too long ago that I've been living my whole life in fear. And I can't anymore. So I'm not. Hmmm.

8. Willy Wonka: Up In Arms, Old Hollywood!!! These people are spitting on your graves!! What is the point of making a new 'Chocolate Factory' when the old one was perfect?? I hope Gene Wilder beats the crap out of those people.

9. Mom: I love my mother to death. She is the best mother in the world. I give her a hard time, but she is perfect. She deserves more than the world has to give her.

10. Alone

Wednesday, July 6, 2005

one side note...

I hate money.

Mostly because I don't have any.

I think I'll write a song.

The end.


Don't read this post.

So, you may not be able to tell by that awesome photo there, but I have, what doctors call, 'a little bit of a weight problem.' That is to say, I am gravitationally burdened. So, tonight I worked out ( I often run and do other non-couching type things), but only because I got a new pair of running shoes. Honestly, I don't know why I got Nike. I hate Nike. There were a pair of NewBalances there that were $10 cheaper and just as nice. Probably would have fit better, too.

When am I going to get it through my head that just because a shoe looks good on the shelf, that doesn't mean it's going to look good on my foot?!

On the other hand, I did get some new teva flipflops for $15.


I am a materialistic bastard. Oh well, this is dumb and I'm sweating like mad cow. AND I think I just threw up a little bit, in my mouth.

Don't read this post.

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Little Girl

I just spent an evening with my neice, Lilly Grace. At two-and-a-half years old, she jabbers as much as any full grown woman that I know.

All of the sudden it hit me. It's amazing how much I love this girl. Seriously. Most other children that would have spent an hour showing me all their toys, I would have gotten bored and left. But I couldn't get enough! I just kept asking her more questions and she just kept answering them...she's talky for sure. My brother said that the day before I was there, she was laying in her bed, before her nap, saying, "Uncle Pat is coming tomorrow," over and over. Of course, I get there, and the first thing she says is, "where's Granna?" Kids.

Also, my sister-in-law is pregnant with their second, a boy. John asked LillyGrace what she wanted to name the new baby, and she, of course, said, "frog." So, the new baby's name is Frog. So be it.

I just spent the fourth of July weekend with my mother, which was cool. More about that later. Also, my roommate Matt and my friend Ju Mi just got back from the Phillipines. Matt brought me a fricking butterfly knife. I almost peed a little bit.

Well, bedtime. Happy 229th, America. You aren't aging gracefully, but I still love ya.

Ps...I decided that the name of my blog isn't the 'desert island' thing anymore. Did you notice? Observant, no?

Friday, July 1, 2005

HAHAHA! Eat it, Supreme Court!!

I'm so proud of the House of Representatives right now, I could cry. (And Pelosi can kiss my tailfeathers) They passed a bill today (Friday) that all but nullifies the eminent domain ruling upheld by the Supreme Court this past weekend. (READ ALL ABOUT IT!!) In a nutshell, any governmenal body that engages in taking someone's home, they will lose federal funding.

Alright Senate, your turn.

General Viscerant Epheral Nerves?

GVE - 3, 7, 9, 10

Shout out to my third reader, Virginia. Welcome to the wardrobe door.

aLSO! I just connected with my good friend Bri Irwin, who lives in Kansas (beautiful state. congratulations.). "boulevard wheat girl" and I worked in colorado together. good times. her blog is now listed at the right side of the page, and it is good stuff. Bri, i guess, is now my fourth reader! I'm taking over the world!!!!