Monday, June 26, 2006

the whirled cup


(make sure you click on the picture and take a good look)

this just in: soccer is BO-RING.

i'm sorry. i tried. i really did. for years i hated on soccer because i didn't understand it and, you know, i'm american. so today me and andrew watched two games, the first of which i slept through, because you know...sunday and stuff. but then we watched nederland (holland, apparently) versus portugal (spain west). you know what i figured out? soccer players are babies. ok, honestly, watching Netherlands vs. Portugal wasn't exactly fair, because there were a LOT of flags. but still, they are drama queens. here's my interpretation.

portugal guy: kick, run, run, kick.
holland guy: chase, chase.
portugal guy: kick, run, PASS.
other portugal guy: receive, run, kick, kick.
mosquito: stab! in the leg, suck blood.
other portugal guy: "OWch!" fall down. "Stretcher!!"
holland guy: "what'd i do?"
other portugal guy: roll around, grimmace. "My leg!!"
referee: yellow card!
holland guy: *&&#*^#$^
portugal guy: he's gone man, you can get up.
other portugal guy: "cool." run, kick, kick.

THEY. ARE. BABIES. little tiny girls with pigtails. i am still gonna try to watch it, because it WAS really exciting when they were about to score.

it is still hotter than three hells, and i worked 60 hours last week, so i'm gonna try not to die this week. pray for me. and for kristen. she just moved to PHOENIX and it's like, 114 degrees there. suck.

7 comments:

Sara said...

I agree. I hate how the media tries to make us Americans feel either guilty or stupid for missing out or not buying into what the rest of the world finds the best sport. So what. I don't want to watch it.

kristen said...

Extremely accurate soccer interpretation (or, as my just-returned-from-england sister would call it, football. She's so going to be A-mahn-da. "Oh buggah, was I not supposed to say anything? I feel like a pahfect ARSE.") Yep.

Dottie said...

Hehe. I just watched that Friends episode a few days ago. Read the blog about Friends Cafe.

Bree said...

LOL! Try to catch a game with either Brazil or Japan in it. Brazil's hella good, but the Japanese play all crazy and dirty and they're faster than hell on wheels.

It was 103 degrees here today and I thought I was going to die, so 114?!?! Shiiiit. I'm sorry, you poor things...

Jeremy said...

I wish I was a baby who could run around non-stop for 90 minutes and make millions of dollars.

Anonymous said...

Methinks ya'll rarely have excercised your God-given right to obtain a U.S. Passport. Or have many non-pasty friends.

Now go back to making foreign policy at the Pasty White House. Square mutherfuckas.

2,006 WHIRLED CUPS OF KOMEDY
http://www.2006WhirledCups.blogspot.com/

Courtney said...

I may be totally wrong about this, but I could swear that World Cup Soccer was like never before such a huge deal. I realize there are trends and stuff, but I do hate how American culture shames you for not being all about the latest crazes. World Cup Soccer=Latest Craze.