At least I'm conscientious of it.
If nothing else, I finally got Bree to comment again.
I've got a lot going on right now. I'm busy and poopy. Figurative poopy, not literal poopy.
I love everybody. I will do a real post tomorrow night.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Saturday, October 15, 2005
It's sad O_o
Nobuddy thot my wawl maht jokes were funy.
BOOOOO! Stop making jokes, Quazimoto! Go back to the bell tower! Yaaarrrggghhhhhh!!!
BOOOOO! Stop making jokes, Quazimoto! Go back to the bell tower! Yaaarrrggghhhhhh!!!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Humor from the past
Thanks for all the replies on the questions!! I'll do another one soon.
The other day I deleted the first yahoo! account I ever had. mcsuperskills at yahoo dot com. I've had that pretty much since I started using the internet. But it had become so overrun with junk mail, I quit using it. But, I had to go through the tons of saved messages to see if there were any I wanted to keep. Right off the bat, there were about thirty or forty of those questionnaires (sp?) that you send around to each other, with tons of questions about yourself. I deleted almost all of those, except for the ones from Cami. She's hilarious. But I also found a forward from my friend Jo. She's married to my friend Jamie (Jo is the girl, Jamie is the guy. funny.), and she just moved to Philadelphia from Morocco. Anyways, since it's hilarious and since going to walmart was the only fun thing to do in Milledgeville where we went to college, I though you all should enjoy this.
*************************************************
50 Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to> return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "Hmmmm....I thought the customer was always right!"
21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
*BONUS*
1. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, without getting kicked out.
2. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.
************************************************
Good times.
The other day I deleted the first yahoo! account I ever had. mcsuperskills at yahoo dot com. I've had that pretty much since I started using the internet. But it had become so overrun with junk mail, I quit using it. But, I had to go through the tons of saved messages to see if there were any I wanted to keep. Right off the bat, there were about thirty or forty of those questionnaires (sp?) that you send around to each other, with tons of questions about yourself. I deleted almost all of those, except for the ones from Cami. She's hilarious. But I also found a forward from my friend Jo. She's married to my friend Jamie (Jo is the girl, Jamie is the guy. funny.), and she just moved to Philadelphia from Morocco. Anyways, since it's hilarious and since going to walmart was the only fun thing to do in Milledgeville where we went to college, I though you all should enjoy this.
*************************************************
50 Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to> return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "Hmmmm....I thought the customer was always right!"
21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
*BONUS*
1. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, without getting kicked out.
2. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.
************************************************
Good times.
Wednesday, October 5, 2005
I'm getting lazy
I think I have writer's block. I keep wanting to post on here, but I can't ever think of what to write. So tonight, I will engage you, my 8 readers, to think.
Top 5 List
Episode 1
#1. Top 5 dream jobs (education and experience not required)
Two of mine are National Geographic Photographer and Hitman.
#2. Top 5 books that you think should be made into a movie.
My biggest one was Chronicles of Narnia, but they are doing that now, so...
Think hard about these and get back to me.
Top 5 List
Episode 1
#1. Top 5 dream jobs (education and experience not required)
Two of mine are National Geographic Photographer and Hitman.
#2. Top 5 books that you think should be made into a movie.
My biggest one was Chronicles of Narnia, but they are doing that now, so...
Think hard about these and get back to me.
Sunday, October 2, 2005
I'm alive!!!!
I was dead for a while, but now I'm back.
I've been in Houston for a while. I was in a wedding and visiting some good friends that just moved out there. Probably by tonight or tomorrow I will post pictures and talk about it. It's good to be home, but I seriously don't want to go back to work.
Oh, and also, I love Fonzie.
I've been in Houston for a while. I was in a wedding and visiting some good friends that just moved out there. Probably by tonight or tomorrow I will post pictures and talk about it. It's good to be home, but I seriously don't want to go back to work.
Oh, and also, I love Fonzie.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Vanilla Sky is really depressing...
but i still like it. but it doesn't compare to 'abre los ojos.'
so i went out with a girl last night. I KNOW, RIGHT? it wasn't a date really. we were just hanging out. she's way cool. californian. i hope it works out. one thing i immediately like about her is that she has a total lack of drama about her. i have experienced some major drama queens thus far. and so now if i notice a lot of drama in a girl, that girl ceases to have any chance whatsoever. drama sucks. yo odio drama.
no big deal though. we went to see a movie. fantasic four. her pick. major cool points. you should have seen me. i was all nervous before she got there. and now i'm doing something silly to make her laugh. i have her sunglasses. her "rockstar" sunglasses. i'm either going to get her to go on a scavenger hunt to find them, or else i'm gonna take pictures of the sunglasses eating, or reading, or rockclimbing. and then i'm going to send her postcards FROM the sunglasses with pictures of them doing those things. and in the meantime, she's wearing my raybans, so lets all cross our fingers and hope she doesn't lose/break them. i even set up an email address for the sunglasses. hillarysrockstarsunglasses@yahoo.com. i know. i'm stupid.
sufjan stevens is playing at the 40 Watt tonight. i wanted to go so bad, but it was sold out. but, speaking of the 40 Watt, i got tickets for switchfoot, and me and rodger and will are going. and we are going to hang out with jon, tim and chad (and maybe jerome) after the show. and i'm stoked, not just because i'll be hanging out with them, but because we'll be in athens at 2am, and that's way fun.
i'm looking for a new job, so if anybody knows of anything, let me know. i would be willing to do partial nudity.
so i went out with a girl last night. I KNOW, RIGHT? it wasn't a date really. we were just hanging out. she's way cool. californian. i hope it works out. one thing i immediately like about her is that she has a total lack of drama about her. i have experienced some major drama queens thus far. and so now if i notice a lot of drama in a girl, that girl ceases to have any chance whatsoever. drama sucks. yo odio drama.
no big deal though. we went to see a movie. fantasic four. her pick. major cool points. you should have seen me. i was all nervous before she got there. and now i'm doing something silly to make her laugh. i have her sunglasses. her "rockstar" sunglasses. i'm either going to get her to go on a scavenger hunt to find them, or else i'm gonna take pictures of the sunglasses eating, or reading, or rockclimbing. and then i'm going to send her postcards FROM the sunglasses with pictures of them doing those things. and in the meantime, she's wearing my raybans, so lets all cross our fingers and hope she doesn't lose/break them. i even set up an email address for the sunglasses. hillarysrockstarsunglasses@yahoo.com. i know. i'm stupid.
sufjan stevens is playing at the 40 Watt tonight. i wanted to go so bad, but it was sold out. but, speaking of the 40 Watt, i got tickets for switchfoot, and me and rodger and will are going. and we are going to hang out with jon, tim and chad (and maybe jerome) after the show. and i'm stoked, not just because i'll be hanging out with them, but because we'll be in athens at 2am, and that's way fun.
i'm looking for a new job, so if anybody knows of anything, let me know. i would be willing to do partial nudity.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
O_o
i saw bree make this little face and i liked it, so there you go.
O_0
i have this married couple friends, jo (girl) and jamie (guy), and they have been in france and morocco for about two and a half years, and they just came home. they were here in augusta last night to have dinner with me and rodger and angela, and they told me they went to london for most of the summer before they came home. "what did you do there?" i queried. jamie says, "i drank beer. oh, and i ate pork." i thought he was kidding, but no that's what he did in london all summer. as we all know, morocco is an arab nation, and alcohol and pork are forbidden, and jamie, as skinny as he is, lost about 20 pounds because he couldn't drink beer. but, he did get some of his beer belly back over the summer (a very little bit of it), and i'm proud of him. and when i came for dinner last night, i brought him some honey brown and killians red. it was so good to see them i almost wet myself.
o_O
so, the other day i nutted up and called a girl. that was huge. and it went very well, so we'll see how that goes.
O_o
right now i feel very un-creative, because i just read the blog of these friends of bri's, and it was real funny and i don't feel funny anymore. so go read their blog. it will make you laugh. O_o
O_0
i have this married couple friends, jo (girl) and jamie (guy), and they have been in france and morocco for about two and a half years, and they just came home. they were here in augusta last night to have dinner with me and rodger and angela, and they told me they went to london for most of the summer before they came home. "what did you do there?" i queried. jamie says, "i drank beer. oh, and i ate pork." i thought he was kidding, but no that's what he did in london all summer. as we all know, morocco is an arab nation, and alcohol and pork are forbidden, and jamie, as skinny as he is, lost about 20 pounds because he couldn't drink beer. but, he did get some of his beer belly back over the summer (a very little bit of it), and i'm proud of him. and when i came for dinner last night, i brought him some honey brown and killians red. it was so good to see them i almost wet myself.
o_O
so, the other day i nutted up and called a girl. that was huge. and it went very well, so we'll see how that goes.
O_o
right now i feel very un-creative, because i just read the blog of these friends of bri's, and it was real funny and i don't feel funny anymore. so go read their blog. it will make you laugh. O_o
Saturday, September 17, 2005
they should call them humor cookies
I just got the funniest fortune cookie ever. It said, and I quote, "smile if you like this fortune cookie." I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING. I showed it to my buddy Mike, and he busted out laughing. And then Banda busted out laughing. It was a good one.
I hate working on Saturdays.
I hate working on Saturdays.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Long live the movie montage
I wish my life went in montages. Firstly I'm assuming that everyone knows what a montage is. You know in a movie where they want to show time passing or a bunch of stuff quickly, they'll play a song and show a lot of different things happening, and you don't hear talking, you just hear the music and see the stuff happening. Well, there's always music playing in my head, so why should my life just be a long montage. It would mostly be slow, sad music, because that just makes me feel better. Probably the song that would be playing: "Skin" by Vigilantes of Love. The song is perfection, and it's mostly about Van Gogh, and it's awesome. If you don't know who VOL is, get into them. It's a band started about 20 years ago by Bill Mallonnee, and after a three or four year hiatus, they are getting back together, and I'm about to pee my pants because they rule. They played this past Friday night in Athens, GA at the 40 Watt (legendary bar, don't even ask, owned by Peter Buck of R.E.M.), and I wanted to go, but none of my friends were excited about it, so whatever. Either that song, or maybe "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" by Colin Hay (Garden State Soundtrack). Colin Hay used to sing for Men at Work (you know, they guy with the lazy eye, the song "Who Can It Be Now?")
Anyway, I've been in this mood lately. I know, right? I'm always in a mood. I was sitting in kinship group last night (kinda like Bible study, and yet not), and I was thinking to myself, "I wish I could just put on an invisibility cloak and walk around, not just here at group, but everywhere." I go through these periods where I just don't want to be around anyone, and then a couple of days later I have to get a bunch of people around me so I'll feel better. You know I wish my life WERE a movie. It might make more sense.
Rodger prayed for me and said he felt like I was standing at the side of a rapid with my kayak, watching the water rush by and was too afraid to jump back in again. Probably because of past failures and mistakes and stuff. And wow, did that hit me like a ton of bricks in the chest. My head was swimming, I was coming up with so many ideas of what the river could be (girls, job, life, church, etc.) Oh, and funny story. Earlier I blogged that I had something about me that I felt was my "long nose." I'll recap. Cyrano had the long nose, and I have something about me that I'm embarrassed of, and I call it my Cyrano (but it's not my nose). I know that's confusing but anyway at kinship last night, someone sort of "complimented" the thing that I think is bad. Just out of the blue. Will and I got a good laugh. Sigh. Sometimes I think I'm clinically insane. And sometimes, I'm just hungry. Also, I think maybe I'm a mental hypochondriac. I don't think anything is physically wrong with me, but maybe I have mind cancer. I'm joking.
Before I go, my friend Andrew and I just watched the movie Crash. If you haven't seen it, i DEMAND that you stop whatever you are doing right now and go watch it. Right now I feel like a racist bastard.
Anyway, I've been in this mood lately. I know, right? I'm always in a mood. I was sitting in kinship group last night (kinda like Bible study, and yet not), and I was thinking to myself, "I wish I could just put on an invisibility cloak and walk around, not just here at group, but everywhere." I go through these periods where I just don't want to be around anyone, and then a couple of days later I have to get a bunch of people around me so I'll feel better. You know I wish my life WERE a movie. It might make more sense.
Rodger prayed for me and said he felt like I was standing at the side of a rapid with my kayak, watching the water rush by and was too afraid to jump back in again. Probably because of past failures and mistakes and stuff. And wow, did that hit me like a ton of bricks in the chest. My head was swimming, I was coming up with so many ideas of what the river could be (girls, job, life, church, etc.) Oh, and funny story. Earlier I blogged that I had something about me that I felt was my "long nose." I'll recap. Cyrano had the long nose, and I have something about me that I'm embarrassed of, and I call it my Cyrano (but it's not my nose). I know that's confusing but anyway at kinship last night, someone sort of "complimented" the thing that I think is bad. Just out of the blue. Will and I got a good laugh. Sigh. Sometimes I think I'm clinically insane. And sometimes, I'm just hungry. Also, I think maybe I'm a mental hypochondriac. I don't think anything is physically wrong with me, but maybe I have mind cancer. I'm joking.
Before I go, my friend Andrew and I just watched the movie Crash. If you haven't seen it, i DEMAND that you stop whatever you are doing right now and go watch it. Right now I feel like a racist bastard.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Sunday morning...
"sunday morning rain is falling..."
even though, at this point in my life, i DETEST maroon 5, i can still appreciate the fact that they had some good songs. unfortunately, that album represents a weekend that i would looooooovve to forget, and so, i can't listen to it anymore. i sold my copy to a cd store. ah well.
so, i got off of work at three yesterday, went home, showered, put on fresh garments, etc, etc, went to a sports bar to watch about three hours of a football game that nearly gave me a heart attack. why do i do this? i don't know. we didn't blow them away like we should have, we actually barely won. i'm sitting in a room full of grown men and women, with 12 different football games on, and i'm screaming. AT THE TV. nachos, beer, and yelling. i've come to the conclusion that we men are silly. we are silly men and we do silly things. but we have fun. unless we are losing. then we are just spending money.
new roommate has moved in, finally. he's already been more fun in 2 days than the old one was in four months. so, good times for the hotel. (the hotel is the name of our house...sweet, eh?)
a quick note on phone messages before i go. why do people get so uptight about leaving a message. "hey, i called you earlier." "did you leave a message?" "no...it wasn't imp-" "WELL if you didn't leave a message then why would i call you back?!" "because it wasn't imp-" "I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DON'T LEAVE MESSAGES!!" "ok." i've had this conversation many times, in many varying forms. virginia and i have this conversation a lot, but she just likes to pick on me. she doesn't get upset like SOME people do. so, attention universe: i may call you, and if it's not important and you don't answer, i'm not gonna leave a message. if i'm calling you to ride to the grocery store, i'm not gonna leave a message. if i'm calling you to go on a date, i probably will leave a message. i make no apologies, and i will not change, so NYAH!
i think i'm going to start saying the word "ruddy." you know, the way british people use it. kinda the way they say "bloody," but instead it's "ruddy." but i'll wait til the next post so i don't weird anybody out.
oh, and hey meredith! :)
even though, at this point in my life, i DETEST maroon 5, i can still appreciate the fact that they had some good songs. unfortunately, that album represents a weekend that i would looooooovve to forget, and so, i can't listen to it anymore. i sold my copy to a cd store. ah well.
so, i got off of work at three yesterday, went home, showered, put on fresh garments, etc, etc, went to a sports bar to watch about three hours of a football game that nearly gave me a heart attack. why do i do this? i don't know. we didn't blow them away like we should have, we actually barely won. i'm sitting in a room full of grown men and women, with 12 different football games on, and i'm screaming. AT THE TV. nachos, beer, and yelling. i've come to the conclusion that we men are silly. we are silly men and we do silly things. but we have fun. unless we are losing. then we are just spending money.
new roommate has moved in, finally. he's already been more fun in 2 days than the old one was in four months. so, good times for the hotel. (the hotel is the name of our house...sweet, eh?)
a quick note on phone messages before i go. why do people get so uptight about leaving a message. "hey, i called you earlier." "did you leave a message?" "no...it wasn't imp-" "WELL if you didn't leave a message then why would i call you back?!" "because it wasn't imp-" "I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DON'T LEAVE MESSAGES!!" "ok." i've had this conversation many times, in many varying forms. virginia and i have this conversation a lot, but she just likes to pick on me. she doesn't get upset like SOME people do. so, attention universe: i may call you, and if it's not important and you don't answer, i'm not gonna leave a message. if i'm calling you to ride to the grocery store, i'm not gonna leave a message. if i'm calling you to go on a date, i probably will leave a message. i make no apologies, and i will not change, so NYAH!
i think i'm going to start saying the word "ruddy." you know, the way british people use it. kinda the way they say "bloody," but instead it's "ruddy." but i'll wait til the next post so i don't weird anybody out.
oh, and hey meredith! :)
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